Families facing a high-risk pregnancy, grieving a loss, or navigating life after trauma deserve compassionate, practical support. Whether you’re in the middle of a complicated pregnancy, grieving a baby you never got to hold, or parenting after loss, this space was created for you.
We’ve gathered resources to help you through the most difficult moments and beyond.
Navigating a Loss
What to Do When You’ve Just Learned Your Baby Has Died
This moment is overwhelming. You may feel frozen, in shock, or unsure what’s allowed. Sometimes loss doesn’t feel like an “event.” It might start with a routine appointment, an ultrasound, or a doctor quietly saying, “I’m so sorry, there’s no heartbeat.” It might be an early pregnancy loss confirmed by bloodwork, or the kind of stillbirth where you’re told you’ll need to give birth to your baby in the coming hours or days.
There is no preparation for that moment. But here’s what we want you to know: you don’t have to make every decision right away. You can ask your doctor to go slowly. You have the right to hear things more than once, to ask for clarity, or to bring someone in for support. For a D&C or delivery, you often have hours, sometimes days, to process next steps, get support, or make a plan that honors your baby and your body. If you’re receiving news alone, call a partner, friend, or family member who can support you or advocate on your behalf. You can ask what options exist, whether it’s surgical management (D&C), medical induction, or natural labor, and learn about the timing, physical recovery, and emotional implications of each.
This part can feel incredibly clinical, but it’s also personal, and sacred. You’re allowed to ask for gentleness.
If you’re not in a care provider’s office or hospital, consider contacting your OB, midwife, or birthing center for guidance. If you are in a hospital, you can ask for a bereavement nurse or perinatal loss specialist, a chaplain (whether or not you’re religious), or support in making decisions about next steps with your baby’s body.
You have the right to spend time with your baby, make choices about holding, bathing, and photos, and decide what happens to their body. You can ask for a CuddleCot, have a support person present, request privacy or emotional support, and decline non-urgent procedures.
This is a deeply personal moment, and there’s no right or wrong way to honor it. Some families find comfort in creating memories through photos, keepsakes, or simply spending quiet time with their baby. Hospitals may offer support like memory boxes or remembrance photography. MAF also provides a free grief care package to remind you that you are not alone.
Additional Support Resources
Many compassionate organizations provide tender, immediate, and ongoing support for families
facing miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. These include:
Offers in-hospital bereavement doulas, memory-making guidance, and comforting keepsakes to help honor your baby’s life.
Provides support for early and late pregnancy loss, including miscarriage delivery kits, burial guidance, and in-person advocates where available.
Hosts support groups and offers free resources, including hospital planning guides and peer mentorship.
Offers bereavement literature, memory-making tools, and peer support, and helps hospitals establish sensitive loss protocols.
Digital retouch artists. Visit https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/.
Aftercare, Funeral Support & Medical Follow-up
In the days and weeks after loss, you may face a mix of grief, paperwork, and medical logistics.
- Your provider should schedule a follow-up appointment to check your physical recovery. You can ask whether testing will be done on the baby or placenta, what results might show, and what this means for future pregnancies.
- You may also have choices when it comes to cremation or burial, even if your baby was very small.
- Ask your provider or hospital staff about your options, including possible financial support from organizations like The TEARS Foundation. Some hospitals offer a “certificate of life” or “memory certificate,” even if a legal birth or death certificate was not issued. This can be a meaningful way to honor and recognize your baby’s life, no matter how short.
As you move into the days and weeks after, lean into support when you’re ready. Join a support group, whether in person or online, where people truly understand. Talk with your partner, a close friend, or a therapist. Even a short conversation can help lighten the load.
Grief and Mental Health
Grief and mental health are both part of the story after high-risk pregnancy and/or loss. This space offers support for both. Grief is a natural emotional response to loss, not an illness. It may include sadness, longing, guilt, regret, physical symptoms like fatigue or sleep issues, and emotional waves that come and go.
Grief can resurface around milestones, anniversaries, or other people’s pregnancies. It doesn’t follow a timeline. It’s not something you “get over”, it’s something you learn to live with.
Sometimes, grief overlaps with or leads to mental health conditions, especially after trauma. You may experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, or perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). In some cases, grief becomes complicated and begins to interfere with daily life. These conditions are not a failure of love or strength,they are valid, treatable experiences that deserve care.
It’s important to know that grief isn’t a mental illness, but it can coexist with one. You can be grieving and struggling with trauma, anxiety, or depression. Getting support doesn’t mean moving on, it means being cared for. Seeking help is an act of love for yourself, your baby, and your family.
Grief Resources
Losing a baby during pregnancy, birth, or infancy is earth-shattering. There are no words that can take away that pain. But we want you to know: you are not alone. This space is here to offer comfort, connection, and guidance.
Whether your loss was recent or many years ago, your grief matters. Your baby matters. We hold space for your story and honor your love, no matter how short your time together may have been.
There are many ways to remember and honor your baby. You might write or speak their name, create a memory box or keepsake item, hold a memorial or private ritual, plant a tree, light a candle, or create a piece of art. You can also submit their name to our tribute list.
Sometimes the most healing thing is to talk to someone who’s been there. If you’d like to be connected with other grieving families who have walked a similar path, we’re here for you. Just reach out to us at contact@alloimmunization.org.
Our co-founder, Mandy Laterveer, lost her daughter Louise at 7 weeks old due to HDFN. She’s deeply passionate about offering a shoulder to lean on for other loss moms. After Louise died, it meant everything to speak with someone who had survived this kind of pain, someone who understood. If you’d like to connect with Mandy directly, you can email her at mandylaterveer@alloimmunization.org.
For many parents, advocacy becomes part of their healing. You may want to share your baby’s story, advocate for better HDFN care, participate in remembrance events, or volunteer to support others.
We also recognize that anniversaries, due dates, and holidays can be especially painful. We host remembrance campaigns throughout the year, including Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in October, Bereaved Parents Awareness Month in July, and the Wave of Light on October 15. If you’d like us to honor your baby’s birthday or due date, we will remember with you.
Mental Health Resources
Mental Health Support During & After High-Risk Pregnancy and/or Loss
Navigating a high-risk pregnancy, especially with maternal alloimmunization, can take an
immense emotional toll. The fear, uncertainty, and constant monitoring can be traumatic on their
own. When that journey ends in loss, through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death,the weight is even heavier.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Whether you’re sensitized and currently pregnant, pregnant after a loss, grieving a baby you never got to hold, or struggling to feel joy in a rainbow pregnancy, your mental health matters. There is support for you, your partner, and your entire family.
At the Maternal Alloimmunization Foundation, we recognize the full spectrum of perinatal mental health experiences. You may be facing anxiety during a high-risk pregnancy, PTSD from a traumatic birth or NICU stay, grief after miscarriage or stillbirth, depression in the months after loss, or panic and fear in a new pregnancy following heartbreak. These are not signs of weakness. They are human responses to overwhelming circumstances. And you deserve care too.
Peer & Community Support
Return to Zero
HOPE provides compassionate support for families who have experienced
miscarriage, stillbirth, infant or child loss. They offer free virtual support groups, peer
mentorship, therapy and coaching referrals, and healing retreats. Their programs create space for grieving parents to connect, honor their babies, and find hope after loss.
Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS)
PALS provides a warm community for navigating pregnancy after loss, with weekly check-ins, blog posts, and space to validate fear, guilt, and trauma.
Star Legacy Foundation
Star Legacy Foundation offers support groups for families facing stillbirth and neonatal death, resources for grandparents and siblings, and advocacy for stillbirth prevention. Their team includes trained peer companions who understand the grief of baby loss firsthand.
Start Healing Together
Start Healing Together advocates for your rights in the workplace after pregnancy loss, helping you navigate time off, accommodations, and compassionate support from your employer.
Postpartum Support International
Postpartum Support International is a nonprofit organization that offers comprehensive support for individuals and families experiencing mental health challenges related to pregnancy, birth, and loss. While it’s best known for helping people with postpartum depression and anxiety, PSI also provides specialized resources for grief, trauma, and perinatal loss. and a free, confidential helpline at 1-800-944-4773 (text support available).
Finding the Right Therapist
Grief and trauma from high-risk pregnancy or baby loss often go beyond sadness. Many
families benefit from working with a therapist trained in perinatal grief, reproductive trauma,
NICU or birth trauma, or therapeutic techniques like EMDR or somatic therapy.
To find a provider, visit:
- Psychology Today (filter for grief, trauma, pregnancy loss)
- Inclusive Therapists
- Open Path Collective (for low-cost therapy)
- EMDRIA Directory (for trauma-focused specialists)
Emergency & 24/7 Support
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline offers free, confidential support 24/7 in English and Spanish. Call 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) if you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, or simply need someone to talk to, whether you’re pregnant, postpartum, grieving, or anywhere in between.
Suggested Topics for Therapy or Group Work
Some parents find it helpful to explore these topics with a therapist or in a safe peer setting:
- Hypervigilance during high-risk pregnancy
- Grieving the pregnancy you expected vs. the one you had
- Coping with medical trauma (like IUTs, NICU stays, or emergency delivery)
- Fear of trying again or carrying another pregnancy
- Relationship tension after loss (especially when grief shows up differently in partners)
- Processing guilt, especially when gaps in care may have contributed to the outcome
- Restoring trust in your body and in the healthcare system
Whatever you’re carrying, there is support for it here.
Still Ours
Honoring Babies Lost in Pregnancy, Birth & Infancy
While no pregnancy is without risk, navigating one with maternal alloimmunization still comes with heartbreaking gaps in care, and too often, those gaps lead to loss.
This space honors the babies we’ve lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death. They may not be in our arms, but they are still ours. We remember them by name, by love, and by the legacy they leave. It is a legacy that fuels our fight for better care and our goal that no more babies are harmed or lost to HDFN.
If you’ve lost a baby to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, especially due to maternal alloimmunization or HDFN, we invite you to share their name and a short message of love. This is a space where every baby is remembered and every story matters.
Do you have a loss story that you would like to share?
We would love to support you in your grief journey.
Join the MAF Support Group
This is a safe, private space for women who have been diagnosed with maternal red blood cell antibodies—whether you’re newly diagnosed, trying to conceive, currently pregnant, or have recently delivered a baby affected by HDFN.
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